Friday, July 12, 2002

From The Brain of the Giant Head

Some People Need A Smack In The Forehead

Dating is a way to meet the person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Some people are looking for a soul-mate. Others just want someone to comfort them along the tough road of life. Me? I just want someone to rub my feet occasionally. But sometimes, most times, you treat that person with the most respect on your first date and then you realize they will never call you again because your private jet only seats 4 people instead of 6.

Some people are just shallow and materialistic.

Now I don’t normally embarrass people by posting their emails, I usually just ridicule them till they run home crying to pick up a dozen eggs to throw at my house, but I felt the honest need to share this with everyone. Apparently the email below was written by a girl residing in my sweet home of Chicago. She talks about her first date with a young man from the area. The email was sent to, what looks to be, a friend that isn’t much of a friend, because that person sent it to all her friends and now the email is in wide circulation. In fact, it was featured on FOX news and has gained immense publicity. Just read it, and then I will comment on it below.

The update
Well...Mr. Casey O'Brien showed up at my door at about 8:15ish. Sporting a pair of cute jeans, a button up and a black jacket. For his outfit I would give him about a B. As for looks, he was cute but on the shorter side and his hair was a little too long. Far from a mullet but longer than I would prefer but let's not dwell on that because he can kinda get away with it. So for looks, I would probably give him another B. Car- BMW, like I stated before. A great car, he'll have to get and A for that. He gets an A+ for his manners and politeness. Marcie, he opened the car door everytime! Super polite. Overall general appearance will cap at a B+.

AS for the place we went to, another "A". The Tasting Room is an excellent date place. I was never the wine connoisseur but I'm gradually thinking I could become one. We had 4 glasses each of different white wines and a cheese flight, which was the perfect food mecca to go with the wine. Place is awesome, I recommend all of you guys to attend this place for a night out with your man/woman. We also headed over to this place called the Black Duck. Another great place! The date place itself gets an overall "A". (By the way Girls- this summer we must hang out on Randolph, so many awesome places!)

I can go into great detail of what we talked about and such but, that would make for an extremely long email. The date ended with me getting intoxicated but not like crazy intoxicated, but I was drunk. No hangovers. I'm assuming he was fairly intoxicated but since he was driving, I didn't want to know, so I never asked.

By the way, as for myself, I get an overall A+ for how damn cute I looked. I sported a pair of fun longer Capri pants from Guess in a darker khaki color with my white shirt from Hanger 18, that has my lower back showing with my new cute fitted black jacket with empire sleeves from Armani. I was a BABE. He didn't stand a chance. My worries of not being cute were so swept under the rug with the outfit I pulled off last night.

Before jumping to any conclusions, YES, I stayed the night, only because I semi passed out on his couch and he was polite to ask if I wanted to head home and I just said he could take me home in the morning, NOTHING happened. Honestly only a kiss derived from this date and it didn't even happen at his place. I believe it might have been executed at the Black Duck but I'm not so sure on the exact time and location. But can I add, GREAT kisser.

The date kiss gets an "A". Really, I haven't had that great of a kiss since,well we won't go there but it has been a long time. I might have to go with the fact that I might have mastered the skill of French kissing, no joke. As long as I have potential to work with, I can execute a pretty intense kiss.

Lauren- you would have loved Casey's attitude. Actually I think all of would have appreciated how he called me out on my stupid logic of thinking. Somehow, it came up on how random it was for us to meet and shit and how when he said the very first time we talked for me to give him a call and my response was, "Really, I'll let you know now, I won't call you, so I suggest you write my number down and give me a call". Hence the wait of a week or so for his first initial call was due to my shallowness or whatever you would like to call my way of playing the field. Doesn't really matter, he still called and I didn't.

So, question is, where do I stand on the whole outlook of Mr. Casey O'Brien and the date... The car, the money, the job, the cute apartment, the boat-which by the way only seats 6 people, so I really don't consider that really amazing, his mannerism and his great kiss will probably lock in another date but...I can tell you now unless he cuts his hair and sends me gifts, it won't lead me to seek anything more than my 1st 30 year old FRIEND (Oh by the way, I think he's only 29, but still, I'm rounding up). Plus, the summer is just around the corner and guys are EVERYWHERE, I need to keep the options open and my schedule free to lock in some other great summer flings...

Well, I hope you've enjoyed the day in the life of Miss Jackie Kim and please feel free to comment on my date, my outfit, the kiss, or whatever else. If you need any more major details of the date please contact me in one of the following ways: phone, email, personal visit or text messaging. Oh, I might be heading to a Cubs game with him next week. We'll see.

Oh by the way ladies- His cute friend Brian, is single and also a day trader. Which by the way, being a day trader is pretty money, literally in a sense but he gets to throw on lounge wear for work and is home no later than Noon. Are you kidding me? Where was being a day trader on career day in Elementary school? --Jacqueline

When I initially read this I laughed for about a half an hour. I didn’t know whether to be sad that people in this world are that shallow or to go out and buy a boat that seats more than 6. Every once in a great while, I think to myself and say, ‘Self, are you wrong about the world? Is everyone actually kind and unbiased? Are they empathetic and looking for the true inner beauty in everyone? Are they as smart as you and only hiding it underneath their thick skin to remain humble?’

I think this email aptly answered that question and I no longer have any doubt. I really hope this email circulation does three things: 1) Embarrasses this girl to the point where she becomes a lesbian. 2) A bird poops in her hat. 3) Forces this girl to wake up, smell the real world, and buy her own damn BMW. Maybe then she will learn that if you write an extremely shallow email and send it to someone that’s not really your friend, you will be featured on From The Brain of The Giant Head.

Moral of the story -- Give The Brain foot rubs whenever possible.

If you don't believe me that this is a real email, go toSun Times Report On Shallow Gal