BraiN

From The Brain of The Giant Head

And The Winner is…

Whether you remember or not (and most of you do because I’ve been receiving hate mail for months now), before the summer hit I was looking for a theme song. Not just any theme song, I was looking for a theme song to represent myself, The Brain. All good superheroes have one, and since I’m practically a superhero, I felt I needed one too. All the submissions were great, and it was really hard to choose a winner which is why it took so long.

But we do have a winner. The winner of the "The Brain Needs A Theme Song Contest" and our "Undiscovered Genius of the Month" is none other than the one, the only, Ms. Melanie Jo, who not only submitted an idea but also hammered out the new lyrics herself. For winning she gets all my expired McDonald’s Monopoly game pieces, a can of pop of her choice and a ticket to see a Reds game sometime next year with The Brain.

So, without further ado, I give you my Theme Song.

One of Us (aka The Brain’s Theme)
(re-written by Melanie Jo)

If THE BRAIN had some fame, what would it be
And would you recognize his face?
If you were saved by him in all his glory
How would you thank him if you had just one second
Yeah oh Yeah, Brain is Great
Yeah, oh Yeah, Brain is Super Sweet
Yeah, Yeah, ohhhhhh Yeeeah

What if THE BRAIN was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the ‘L’
Tryin’ to make His way to the LGB

If Brain had a mask, what would it look like
And would you want to pick its nose?
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like baseball, in Griffey and the Reds
And all his wisdom and...
Yeah, yeah, THE BRAIN is a Badass
Yeah, oh yeah, Brain is a hero
Yeah, Yeah, ohhhhhhhhh Yeeeah

What if THE BRAIN was one of us
Just normal-size headed like one of us
Just a stranger on the ‘L’
Tryin’ to make his way to the LGB
tryin’ to make his way home
Back down to Nati’ all alone

Nobody screaming out his name
’Cept for the LGB in Chitown rain

Yeah, yeah, THE BRAIN is Cool
Yeah, oh yeah, THE BRAIN is dy-na-mite
Yeah, Yeah, ohhohhohohh yeah

What if Brain wedgied one of us
Just a nobody like you or me
Just a weirdo on the ‘L’
Gettin’ pick-pocketed all alone
Just tryin’ to make a little extra dough
Like a thug in Price Hill or Delhole
He heard your cries in Chi-ca-go
now he’s back in his cubicle
Nobody callin’ on the phone
’Cept for the LGB or maybe the poolice…

Yeeeeaahhh, yeeeahh oh yeeeahh

Thanks to everyone that participated. We’ll have another contest sometime down the road and I promise it won’t take five months to announce a winner. I promise to have it done in under three. –The Brian