Friday, September 15, 2006

From the Brain of The Giant Head

Operation: Who-Dey

Here in Cincinnati we have plenty to complain about: no good form of public transportation, race-relation issues, a Banks project that won't be finished until sometime after 2078. But there is one thing—no matter your age, skin color or gender—that we can rally around: The Bengals. They're family. They're our brother. They went through that adolescent phase in the 90s where they had acne and were hard to stomach, but now they've blossomed into an adult that you enjoy to be around.

And, just when they're ready to shine, some outsider attacks them—and our home. (And no, surprisingly, it wasn't a Steelers' fan).

Elliot Kalb, sports columnist for, ranked Paul Brown Stadium, home of our beloved Bengals, the second worst stadium in all of football. SECOND WORST! That simply can't be true, can it? His review:

"The fans were so vulgar and there were such displays of drunkenness (no, fans, inebriation is not a right) that the team — to its credit — has instituted a jerk line to call out idiots who cross the line. Fans can use their cell phones to rat out their neighbors. Will it help? I'm skeptical. I realize that Cincinnati fans aren't the only ones who exhibit boorish behavior (Philly fans practically wrote the book on it). Besides those issues, however, there are things to dislike about PBS. I found it difficult to navigate in a car to a suitable lot, and to find the entrance to the stadium. Fans screaming about disrespect ("Who dey! Who dey! Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengals?") is hardly worthy of great NFL chants." —>1=8595

WHAT A BUM! In his reasoning for giving the stadium such low marks, he does very little to actually review the stadium and, instead, directly attacks the fans. To make matters worse, he slams the one thing that's as sacred in this city as Opening Day: the WHO-DEY chant.


We need to show Mr. Kalb that Bengals' Nation completely disagrees with his ranking of PBS with OPERATION: WHO-DEY!. In the words of the Authority Guru: "I suggest sending him Who-Dey emails until his inbox explodes." So please join me in "WHO-DEY-ing" Mr. Kolb ( and letting him know that Bengals' Nation is number 1. No one messes with our family.


--The Brain